I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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