at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
