I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize