No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
