Heybabeimwearingurpanties
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
