Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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