You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
