I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
