So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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