The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
