Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
