Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
