I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
