and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
