he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
