It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
