hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize