I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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