the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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