I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
