Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

i just sent this text using only my big toe

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem

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(910): View more from North Carolina

NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.

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(541): View more from Oregon

just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.

(248): View more from Michigan

There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.

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(813): View more from Florida

The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

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(720): View more from Colorado

But truly, sorry about your empty vagina

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Thanks boo.

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(707): View more from California

All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.

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