and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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