a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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