how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She's like a pop up book from hell.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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