I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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