it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
