Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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