We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize