Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
