Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it was like eating out sand paper
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
