She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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