That's intense
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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