A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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