normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
