I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
