It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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