you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
