Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
