McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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