YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
high people should be assigned attendants
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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