my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize