I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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