he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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