Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
