Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
