i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
