I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
