You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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