Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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