i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
