And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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