That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't think brook has ever known best
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
