It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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