the day after is always just damage control
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
