Me too!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
