found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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