suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
