Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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