eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
