Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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