i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
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