i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Someone signed my nipple.
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