I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
