She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize