Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
