You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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