new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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