am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
