In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
