Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
