I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
