he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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