and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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