Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
