her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
