Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
